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Joke of the Day

"My boss texted me... My boss texted me: ""Send me one of your funny jokes"" I replied: ""I will send you one l8r, I'm working right now"" He replied: ""LMAO, send me another one!"""

"How did Saddam deal with his leftovers? He used sarin wrap"

"Calm down, Windows Update. I'll restart my computer during work time."

"[Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl ""You mean tomgirl?"" Don't talk with your mouth full."

"I got offered a job at McCormick... ...but it was just seasonal work."

"Show me a person who doesn't walk on the escalator and I'll show you a person who will transition poorly into the zombie apocalypse."

"What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung."

"When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day"

"*intercom comes on* ""Would the owner of a white Jetta with headlight eyelashes please report to the front desk so u can be shot in the face"""

"We the People ~~We the People~~ We the electoral college"