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Joke of the Day

"I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than ""pull an all-nighter"" with you."

"What's the program jedi use to read pdf files? Adobe wan kenobi"

"What did Joan Rivers say to the zombie? *Who are you wearing?*"

"So my biology teacher asked me what are in cells... I said ""black people"" and somehow that wasn't right"

"if you collect ladies of the night [nsfw] does that make you a whorder"

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn't ""fun to be around."""

"I do my best speed walking when I'm trying to beat another customer to the checkout at the liquor store."

"I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted."

"I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline."

"How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer? He's out standing in his field"