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Joke of the Day

"I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than ""pull an all-nighter"" with you."

"Stop scrolling. You need to sleep. (:"

"A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site... ...what happens next will shock you!!!"

"I bought my girlfriend 2 presents for her birthday I got her a new pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"When I see lover's names on a tree, I don't think it's sweet... ... I think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"How do you make a good pun? You use a great PUNchline."

"Did you hear of the guy who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? He just could not explain it! Then it dawned on him."

"What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat."

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran."

"My neighbors are organizing something called a ""fun run"". This shit never happened when I lived in my car."