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Joke of the Day

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face. A joke from a 3 year old who thought it was hilarious, but probably didn't understand it."

"Parallel Lines have so much in common It's a shame that they'll never meet"

"I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president."

"Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom? A: By witchful thinking."

"First you can't smoke and now you get banned for grinding up on other patrons. It's like, why even bother getting drunk at the zoo anymore?"

"What do mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars."

"How do you kill a redneck? Wait until he fucks his sister and then cut the brakes on his house."

"""Liquor in the front, poker in the back"" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now."

"When I die I want my body donated to science Specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life."

"Why is my girlfriend fat? Because I'm ugly."