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Joke of the Day

"My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving"

"What do you call a person who is happy on a Monday? Unemployed."

"I really wish my boss would fall for the ""but all my friends are allowed to be late to work"" excuse."

"Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it's my modesty that stands out."

"Here's a really old one I"

"What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common? Neither of them can finish a play"

"Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password."

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because it's pecker is on its head."

"I'm using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed... But there's a plane heading towards the twin towers right now."