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Joke of the Day

"What did the dog say to the fireman? The roof is on fire."

"TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub."

"What do you call a cow woth a twitch? Beef Jerky"

"After I die, I want someone to periodically log in as me so it looks like I'm haunting Facebook."

"I used to play checkers with my dad but he would always beat me. Probably because I would always win at checkers."

"What was Hitler's favorite battery? The nein volt"

"If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming."

"Guys my calendar is really sick.. I think its days are numbered."

"There are two goldfishes in a bowl. There are two goldfishes in a fish bowl. One says to the other, ""Trevor, why do the humans think us fish are stupid?"" Trevor says, ""Sorry, who are you again?"""