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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming."

"If I could fly, I know who I'd shit on first."

"I see subway employees are still having their ""how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich"" contest."

"Danger is my middle name. Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you."

"Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you're looking for a business manager."

"C sections. They really take it out of you."

"A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, ""namaste in bed""."

"Whats black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron!"

"Breaking news: A man has drowned in a bowl of Cheerios. Ironically his family didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"Have you heard about the Italian chef that recently died? Yeah, he pasta way."