169209

Joke of the Day

"What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas? You only get presents from one set of grandparents."

"Really hope autocorrect altered that last text because if not my mom's taking my little brother to a Christian rape concert tonight."

"Fizzy drinks are Soda-sgusting *bad dum tiss*"

"If you never include your body in your selfies, I am forced to assume that you don't have one. Carry on floating head selfie chick."

"Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?"

"Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible."

"I don't mind getting the stink-eye when I say, ""Happy Whatever Holiday You're Weirdly Touchy About,"" because THAT is the spirit of Whatever."

"What kind of karate do Rabbis know? Jew Jitsu."

"Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off."

"I applied for a position as a stenographer, but I was disqualified when the blood test came back. Turns out I'm Type-O Plentiful."