168384

Joke of the Day

"""How'd the date go?"" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist."

"Top 3 things you want to do to avoid writing a clickbait title Number 2 will shock you!"

"I think airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide on your birthday."

"How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long."

"I apologised to my girlfriend last night for not being able to get an erection. There were no hard feelings whatsoever."

"What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time? Shhhhhhh."

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"

"Why should sailors eat crabapples? For the vitamin sea."

"""Dad, why couldn't the doctors save grandpa's life? ""Doesn't matter son, he would have suffocated in the coffin"""

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"