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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"

"Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth? Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion."

"all pants are breakaway pants if you're angry enough"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field"

"A spokesman for Kelloggs says the company now fears the recent incident may be the work of a cereal offender."

"The Middle Ages Queen: Babe come to bed its late. King: Not until I can come up with a cool name for my soldiers! Queen: k night. King: holy shit you're a genius!"

"I ended it after I checked his browser history and found hundreds of video game walk-throughs. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

"Why was the Frenchmen racist? Because he was a bigette."

"It's like my uncle always said: ""The day I can't do my job drunk..."" ""...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."""

"How did Canada name their country? They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"