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Joke of the Day

"Why should sailors eat crabapples? For the vitamin sea."

"Guy : Damn Girl, are you a newspaper? Girl : No, Why? Guy : Because there is a new fucking issue with you every day."

"My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital."

"I still enjoy sex at 40 I live at 44, so it's no distance."

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaay"

"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"

"Why did the poor man sell yeast? He wanted to make some doe!"

"i'm the kind of person who would pretend i don't know your name but actually know what you been up to for the past 5 years per facebook."

"Some days you're just really stupid. 365 to be exact."

"A couple split up over Christmas cause the man wanted a Playstation... Instead he got an ex-box"