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Joke of the Day
"I was going to make a terrific joke about a bank... ..but then I lost interest."
Next Joke
"How does R.Kelly end a joke? Ba dum *piss*"
"All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife."
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"
"What do you call a plant that doesn't move? A tree."
"Dear time, more weekend please."
"Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with ""I see the assassins have failed."""
"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"" is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic."
"A priest is walking a crowd through a tour of an old church. He walks them through the priests changing quarters, turns to the crowd and says ""And this is where we separate the men from the boys!"""
"A rock flying through the hemisphere is called an Asteroid. A lump on your ass is called a Hemorrhoid...... If you think of it,Shouldn't it be the other way around?"