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Joke of the Day

"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"" is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic."

"I'm officially unsubscribing from r/Jokes I'm sick of all the dumb puns, I'm quitting cold turkey Happy Thanksgiving people"

"""Let's eat, get drunk and watch people exercise"" sports fans"

"It's just a bad day, not a bad life."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? So it can reach its head."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 100 stories in 10 seconds."

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick."

"I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?"

"What do you call a story about a rooster? A cocktale."

"ASTRONAUT: Houston, we have a problem. HOUSTON: Oh, we're fine down here, thanks for asking. Let's make this all about you though, as usual."