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Joke of the Day
"Dear time, more weekend please."
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"When updating your status, always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out..."
"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chin? A good blowjob."
"Leading cause of automobile accidents I bet the leading cause of automobile accidents for bodybuilders is flexing while driving..."
"Why did the guy have Ben Franklin tattooed on his dick? His girlfriend was great at blowing 100 bucks."
"2 fish in a tank, one fish looks at the other and say's ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."
"What do you call the Jewish Jamaican singer responsible for pouring the wine at synagogue? De Canter"
"""Does my bum look big in this dress?"" my wife asked this morning. I said ""No, but the dress does look quite small on your arse""."
"wait, THESE are pistachios? i've been calling them wood clams"