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Joke of the Day
"Dear time, more weekend please."
Next Joke
"Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed."
"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."
"How do I know you're not a cop? ""If I was a cop, how would I have this?"" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good"
"Fifty clowns got fired from the circus. Luckily, it freed up three parking spots."
"How come there are like a thousand songs about Christmas but only one song about the boys being back in town? This is not original"
"How do you stop an Italian from talking? Tie his hands together"
"Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert? [OC] It was her sole comfort."
"what sex position produces the ugliest babies? Ask your parents"
"What's the difference between Canadians and Americans? 100 pounds."