210630

Joke of the Day

"A rock flying through the hemisphere is called an Asteroid. A lump on your ass is called a Hemorrhoid...... If you think of it,Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"Have no friends? Tell a girl you love her. Do this over and over and soon you'll have many friends! :D"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me."

"In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I'm right."

"my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town"

"Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight"

"Why do potheads only steal from other potheads? Otherwise there's nothing worth toking."

"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba dum tss EDIT: spelling"

"2Pac died because he lived the thug life. This 6 pack is going to die because I live the chug life."