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Joke of the Day

"All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife."

"I call my weed the Quran... Because burning that shit will get you stoned"

"Trump to Implement Specific Insurance Plan He wants to have a toupee-er system."

"Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time. Sure, I'll come in for a coffee. You have a lovely apartmeMY GOD that is a lot of Swastikas"

"My mom and I donated 15 boxes of old books to Goodwill, and in every 100th book I left a note with an urgent spy message."

"I bet when the first guy wore glasses everybody was like ""Oh la de da, excuse me Mr. I Need TWO Monocles."""

"Lightbulb replacement..... How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one."

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted"

"Why can't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!..."

"I hear cancer is hard to beat No one got past stage 4."