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Joke of the Day

"Would Bill Cosby make a shitty bartender?"

"I watched a documentary on strokes It was a bit one sided"

"You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!"

"A classic: what do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"Why was the cheesemaker lopsided? Because he only had one Stilton!"

"HER: What's your cell plan? ME: Bodily decay over decades until inevitable mortal collapse. You? HER: ... ME: ... HER: ... V-Verizon."

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"

"I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her, and I'm now banned from the gym."

"Sex_al Harass_ _nt All that's missing is ""u"" and ""me""."

"What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub? One has hope in her soul..."