17378

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub? One has hope in her soul..."

"The good thing about having a lot of followers is that for every thousand there's about one who actually reads your tweets."

"I once asked a girl if she smoked after sex. She said ""I don't know, I've never looked"""

"Why did the Irish woman only put 239 beans into her bean soup? Because 1 more would have been 240..."

"What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket? Lindt choclate."

"ME: nice fanny pack u weirdo KANGAROO: *puts phone in pouch, pulls out a knife* ME: holy shit"

"I once told a woman I could give her twelve inches. I just needed to make four three inch installments."

"I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter"

"My friend David lost his ID the other day... Now we just call him Dav."

"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam."