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Joke of the Day

"I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity."

"Did you hear about the pecan orgy? It was fucking nuts."

"I don't drink so that I'm more fun to be around. I drink so that you're more fun to be around."

"I broke up with her... Her name was ""anti gravity"" and she would never ""go down"" on me."

"Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones."

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"What would you call a superhero with Down's Syndrome? Ultra Downy"

"Seriously, why put the suicide hotline on the backs of buses? Put it on the fronts."

"Did you hear what is making the latest headlines? Corduroy pillows"

"What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker."