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Joke of the Day

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it."

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"I went to a restaurant that serves ""breakfast at any time""... So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. -Stephen Wright"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again"

"Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead."

"The reason why Clinton is a super secret agent of the alt right is because... She has a frog in her throat."

"Gay guys are OK... ... they're just indifferent."

"When do Catholics allow the use of condoms? When the choir boys have diarrhea."

"I'm more afraid of the shitty music my family is going to play at my funeral than I am of dying."