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Joke of the Day

"I don't drink so that I'm more fun to be around. I drink so that you're more fun to be around."

"I tried making jokes about fat people ... but none of them worked out."

"What's the difference between Texas and Russia? One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold."

"Would you guys buy Apple's new product for lumberjacks? iWood."

"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"

"You know what they say about prison... You go in a tight end and come out a wide receiver"

"I woke up with a ringing in my left ear So I put my phone on vibrate."

"A Man Goes In For His Annual Check-Up With The Doctor The doctor tells him, ""You need to stop masturbating"" The Man Asks ""Why"" The Doctor Replies, ""Because I'm trying to examine you"""

"There're only 10 types of people in the world ... those that understand binary, and those who don't."

"One-Liners The attraction to redheads is a lot like being addicted to drugs."