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Joke of the Day

"What would you call a superhero with Down's Syndrome? Ultra Downy"

"Why did the chicken cross the rhoad... To get to the other island."

"How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They only screw the poor."

"[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*"

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"What did the slice of pork say to the attractive woman.... ....you may be hot, but I'm bacon!!!"

"(Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap... UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki... UPDATE THEM TOO..."

"Did you hear about the Texas hipster whose bicycle was broken? He was fixin' to get his fixie fixed."

"Water Knock Knock Who's there? Water Water Who? Water Those!!!!! (What are those joke)"

"What do Reddit Users and Olive Oil have in common? They're both extra virgin."