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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested two kids in my neighborhood today. One was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"TIL that skydiving... ...without a parachute, is a once in a lifetime experience."

"The best way to avoid awkward moments with homeless people is to ask them for money before they ask you."

"After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward."

"How is Harrison Ford like the Reddit admins? Both should have said no to the latest update."

"No, Grandma. Still not married; but the lady in the Popeye's Chicken commercials keeps calling me ""Honey"" so we'll see where that goes."

"Why do they have fences around a cemetery? Because people are dying to get in."

"How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows, the never get to keep the house."

"Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil? Insufficient funds."

"What kind of house does Fonzie live in? An ""A"" frame..."