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Joke of the Day

"So I ordered the 50 cent at the bar last night... The bartender gave me 9 shots and took all my money"

"Tragic sewing accident kills woman and three children... Whoops, wrong thread."

"Everyone has that one friend who treats their Facebook status like their therapist."

"What's the difference between a fox and a dog? About 7 beers."

"Want to hear a clean joke? A man takes a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man"

"What's next to England? A question mark."

"Me: I just broke a nail. WebMD: Finger cancer."

"My workplace consists of 80% women and 20% men.. I guess you could say that we are under staffed"

"I have emotional constipation I haven't given a shit in years!"

"Why can you not hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."