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Joke of the Day

"What did the scientist say when he created something super BASIC? ExtraOrdinary"

"A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word ""hey"""

"God doesn't play dice well, that's what he tells Mrs God."

"What's the capital of Greece? The G"

"*Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?"

"I was so touched last week when a shopkeeper handed my 3yo a donut without checking with me, that today I gave his teen a bag of heroin."

"For valentine's day, I'm taking my wife to see ""50 Shades"". How long is the movie? I need to know what time to pick her up."

"what's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger."

"What do plumbers and slinkies have in common They both make you laugh when you push them down stairs"

"4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9"