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Joke of the Day

"Why are birthday's good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!"

"Why do priests have you call them Father.. Because 'Daddy' was too obvious"

"Why are chemists always a part of the problem? Because they can never be a part of the solution."

"I wonder if I could save more than 15% on my car insurance if Geico wasn't paying for so many fucking commercials?"

"I'm not saying pregnant woman aren't attractive I'm just saying, It'd feel weird giving some random unborn child dimples."

"What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool? Bob."

"What's 69?... (NSFW) A great sexual position. What's 6.9? A great sexual position interrupted by a period."

"""My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am."" - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car"

"Monica Lewinsky says she's not voting for Hillary if she runs because... ...the last time a Clinton was in the White House it left a bad taste in her mouth!"

"My girlfriend tried to tell me an abuse joke But I beat her to the punch"