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Joke of the Day

"Why are birthday's good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!"

"I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever."

"What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? Both can smell it but can't eat it."

"When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one? At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees."

"Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at sea."

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"How can you tell if someone is having a stroke? There is lotion and used tissues laying around"

"Oh OK thanks for the tip, I was actually planning on letting the bed bugs bite but good call"

"I'm smiling. This should scare you."

"How do you say ""touchdown"" in Polish? Gronkowski"