161941

Joke of the Day

"Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I'll solve it... [Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?"

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."

"A man walks into a chemists ""Hi, I'd like some Viagra please"" asks the man. ""I'm sorry"" says the Pharmacist. ""You can't get that over the counter."" ""You can if you take enough."" replies the man."

"What's black and doesn't work? Half of London."

"Q: How do you make anti-freeze? A: Take away her blanket."

"Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my own picture in it... Guess I really am...independent."

"Did you hear about Disney's new Tick Tock Crock ride? It's killer."

"Who won the first Tour de France? I don't know his name, but I know he was in a German tank."

"Me: Ugh. Something I ate this morning didn't agree with me. [Inside my stomach] Chicken Quesadilla: ""The Notebook"" was an overrated film."

"We shouldn't point out other people's grammar mistakes because one day it will be you're turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it."