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Joke of the Day

"People say I'm condescending That means I talk down to people."

"Did you hear about the naked guy swimming in the river in Paris? He was in Seine"

"Did you hear about the pirate captain selling cheap corn? It was a buccaneer."

"How does a racist joke start? A small loan of a million dollars."

"A friend asked how I'd describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it's a lot like my ex, but with a basket."

"What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass? An investigator."

"Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even."

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"Its so awkward meeting new people. Especially when they go in for a handshake and you go in for an open-mouth kiss."

"What does the arabs put in their Mexican food?? Allah-penos"