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Joke of the Day

"Its so awkward meeting new people. Especially when they go in for a handshake and you go in for an open-mouth kiss."

"Why did Scottish baby sneeze? It got week old."

"""I'll put this somewhere I won't lose it."" (I'll hide it somewhere I'll never see it again.)"

"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."

"What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died? His korea is over!"

"i have a question for ron gaul why was my wife screaming your name last night?"

"Back in my day when we found a Pokemon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone"

"What do you call the crucified baby Jesus? Baby on board."

"I love mange tout... ...but I couldn't eat a whole one."

"What's more useless than a condom at a feminist rally? Everyone there."