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Joke of the Day

"I dream of the day when automatic paper towel dispensers finally realize the human hand isn't 3 inches long."

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn"

"Do you know the difference between 5 minutes of blowjob and 5 minutes of sodomy ? Do you have 10 minutes ?"

"What If When You Die They Ask You ""How Was Heaven?"""

"How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? They all gather around their cash registers and sing ""What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."""

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."

"Feminism: because not all women can be beautiful."

"How does Walter Palmer like his eggs? Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any"

"I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all non - shed."

"What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno Business"