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Joke of the Day

"What kind of underwear does Severus Snape wear? Always."

"Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything."

"Jared gives a new meaning to ""Eat Fresh!"" How ""Fresh"" we talkin?"

"If Tumblr was edible It would have alot of trans fat"

"I dont always roll a joint... But when I do its my ankle."

"My dyslexic uncle was suicidal... He kept jumping behind trains"

"I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap."

"Banker: You're sure you want a reverse mortgage & get how it works? Me(imagines bank making huge unaffordable payments to me for years): Yes"

"What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk? A mootation"

"I hate being bi-polar... It's awesome!"