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Joke of the Day

"I didn't feel right so I went to the doctor. He only takes one look at me and says, ""Well son, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" I asked. ""So I can examine you."""

"How do you know a girl is too young for you? When you have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth"

"*Goes back in time to kill the inventors of Twitter. Returns home to amaze friends on Facebook with endless jokes about vodka & pizza.*"

"Why are there no hand paintings from the old west? Because they could only draw guns."

"I went to a feminist picnic the other day... It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches."

"Three virgins go into a bar; a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Hours later out come a blonde, a brunette, and a virgin. ....Ginger Snap!"

"My Load Is So Big Jokes http://myloadissobig.blogspot.com/"

"Wanna hear a joke about a stupid person? well, too bad. I can't talk to you over the internet. Stupid."

"[woman on death row] ""Your last meal?"" - I don't care. You pick. ""Fish?"" - Gross no ""Steak?"" - No. Anything is fine tho. ""Pasta?"" - Ew carbs"

"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."