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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."

"What did Hitler eat for breakfast? Luftwaffes"

"I hate when my phone corrects ""hood morning"" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today."

"I don't often tell sailor jokes But when I do they are usually salty."

"I just tinder matched with a block of cheese."

"What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it."

"Me: Can I bring my wife? Travel Agent: Of course Me: But I'm hetero. Does that matter? Travel Agent: Do you think I'm saying Gayman Islands?"

"Police are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog."

"A homeless guy just gave me some change. Note to self: When in public, wear pants."

"Tried to sign up to a website the other day... I put my password as ""beef stew"" It said password not stroganoff."