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Joke of the Day

"I went to a feminist picnic the other day... It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches."

"Why isn't a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?"

"That picture of yourself that you hate now will look better than the best possible picture of you in five years."

"My music teacher was arrested for sticking his dick through a sheet of music Apparently, it's illegal to have sex with A minor"

"(Tell this to your professional friends or relatives) Your must be a fish... because you've got lots of SCALES!! YEEEEEEYAAAAAA Edit: (skills/scales?) get it?"

"Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets? Felons can't buy guns"

"""Jess is coming over"" ""Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-"" *Gets stabbed to death* ""Yes"""

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""

"I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head."

"How do stick men play fetch with their dog?"