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Joke of the Day

"Boss says, ""its the 3rd time you've been late this week! Do you know what that means??"" Me, ""err... It's Wednesday?"""

"My friend asked me if he was gay... I didn't know how to give him a straight answer."

"I like my women like I like my scotch 12-14 years old"

"Why is the US terrible at league of legends? Because they can't protect their towers."

"Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"""It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."""

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I've never made a vitamin..."

"Why's it called getting an abortion... Instead of razing your child?"

"I have nothing against gynecologists... I just don't like them in genital."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. We're very efficient and not very humorous"