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Joke of the Day

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"My wife asked me to go out and get something that makes her look pretty. So I went out and got drunk."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Saddam. Saddam who? *Seen*"

"There's really no sense in being pessimistic... It's not going to work, anyway."

"Two space shuttle crews watched Felix Baumgartner and thought: ""WE COULD HAVE HAD PARACHUTES?"""

"either my xbox is broken, or it wants to get married and start a family... because it's done playing games with me."

"Sundaes are half off. The rest of the week, you pay full price!"

"They found a hole in the wall at the local prison The police are looking into it"

"Do you want a quick joke? Do you want another one?"

"My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards. *He takes strip poker very seriously.*"