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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Helen Keller is on the back of the Alabama quarter? ""No, and I bet she hasn't heard about it."" ""She probably hasn't seen it either."""

"[stand-up comic bombing] Comic: I guess I can tell you my joke about ghosts Audience: BOOOOOO! Comic: Oh ok you've heard that one before."

"Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? "

"why did no one listen to the wheelchair joke? It had no back story."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it!"

"Son asks ""Dad, do you die if you lose your head?"" Dad responds ""That is a no-brainer"""

"What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met? Pork and bologne sammiches."

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"3yr old: [whispering] I have a secret ""What it is, sweetie?"" 3: [shouting] I POOPED! ""Do you know what a secret is?"" 3: [whispering] no."

"I hate unoriginal jokes on Reddit..... said the chicken as he walked across the road"