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Joke of the Day

"HEY DUMMIES WHEN YOU SHAZAM A SONG YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD THE PHONE UP BECAUSE ITS JUST A SONG AND SOUND GOES EVERYWHERE."

"Why does OSHA hate porn? It's nsfw"

"Did you hear about the guy in the Islamic State who was caught smoking weed? He was stoned."

"TIFU...... She rode me like a cow girl."

"They say you are what you eat I guess that makes me a human"

"Ever hear of the Infinite Monkey Theorem? It goes something like if an infinite number of Redditors typed away on keyboards, one of them will eventually type a complete day of work."

"OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BOSS: I don't know you. Do you work here? ME: *sips wine* No. HIM: So your wife does? ME: *sips his wine* Again no."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is not a full essay."

"What does a farmer do at a strip club? Make it grain."

"My ass is one of the great wonders of the world if you're wondering when it's getting off this couch."