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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy in the Islamic State who was caught smoking weed? He was stoned."

"Look on the bright side would be horrible advice to someone trapped in a tanning bed"

"I was going to buy a hairpiece... ... But it was too much toupee."

"The best part of finishing a long piece of writing is when the laptop hits your talentless loser foot as you boot it off a roof."

"My girlfriend likes to get f**ked in the ear Every time I try to stick my dick in her mouth she turns her head!"

"TIFU: I ate my boss' sandwich out of the work fridge! Oops. Wrong sub."

"Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'"

"A man goes to the zoo, As he walks around he see's only one animal, a dog. It's a schitzu"

"[NSFW] What starts with an R and ends with a sentence? Rape"

"Leather armor is best for sneaking Because it's literally made of hide."