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Joke of the Day

"What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be ""Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division""."

"What do you use to clear the air of stupid? A HERPA filter"

"[Coworker] Are you smiling at your stapler? No, just checking for spinach [Laughs nervously]. Oh, good. [Me, to stapler] Sorry baby I had to"

"How many black guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one - you fucking bigot."

"If a hobbit were to bake a hairstyle, what would he make it out of? Frodo"

"The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up it eats all the spinach off their plates."

"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."

"Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq? Because he asked for Ice-es"

"""I V E M U R D E R E D S E V E N P E O P L E"" would be a fun eye chart for a doctor to have"

"Why did simba's father die in a stampede??? Because he couldn't mufasa!!!"