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Joke of the Day

"Run over by a Limo My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"How can you tell if a chocolate bar is kosher? It's got a Jewey caramel center."

"What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy."

"1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey."

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"""Yo bro this horse is actin a little weird"" ""Dude thats my dog get off"" ""why is ur horse so small"" ""Its a DOG"" Why u pronouncing horse weird"

"Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers!"

"[after an accident on the ski slope] ME: did i nail the triple backflip PARAMEDIC: u choked on a tootsie roll and fell off of the ski lift"

"How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't. They just talk about when it did work."

"* during an interview * Interviewer: ""So how long were you employed in your last job?"" Candidate: ""I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."""