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Joke of the Day

"The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up it eats all the spinach off their plates."

"What do giants and strippers have in common? They both grind on bones to make their bread."

"Guys who try to pick up women on Twitter are a bit sad... Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it..."

"Anytime I fly over the exact spot a time zone changes, I yell ""88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!"""

"Knock knock... A: Knock, knock! B: Who's there? A: The Interrupting Cow. B: The Interrupt-- A: MOOOOOOOO!!"

"How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et."

"Why women mature faster than men? Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old."

"I legally changed my name to Edward Genocide... ...you can call me Ed G."

"""What's that in the bag?"" ""An AK-47."" ""No next to that."" ""A bag of cheetos."" ""You can't bring that into the movie."""

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a scorpion"