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Joke of the Day
"How many black guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one - you fucking bigot."
Next Joke
"My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now."
"I swear if I hear Uptown Funk one more time... I will smash my radio. Don't believe me? Just watch"
"Air & Sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"
"Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your tweets. Also, reading her emails and writing shit on her Facebook page."
"Spiritually, ever since I ate my first curry, I'll always be part Indian."
"Did you hear about the piece of scrap wood? He went to BOARDing school and applyed (applied) to college."
"Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought ""a"" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine"
"A son asks his dad ""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""Not yet son. We still haven't found anyone that wants you"""