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Joke of the Day

"We Played the Guessing Game Mom: What did you do at school today? Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam? Mark: That's right."

"The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, ""I don't think it's working"""

"I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I've taken a Tern for the Wurst"

"I was gonna wear my camouflage pants this morning... But I couldn't find them"

"Where do male army priests live? On Chap Lane."

"I was quite an upbeat child, I used to think CCTV was a very, very positive Spanish television channel"

"[inventing humans] god: ""they should have complete control of their tongue"" angel: ""um ok"" god: ""let me finish.. except when using scissors"""

"I love long romantic walks to the fridge. That's how I maintain my curves "

"I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM, BECAUSE GRANDPA FORGOT TO WEAR HIS HEARING AIDS AGAIN!"

"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."