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Joke of the Day

"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."

"How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport? He got snowden."

"What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending? He grabs a hoe."

"A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright sunny day."

"Why is Yoda the worst copilot? ""Yoda, are we still going the right way?"" ""Off course we are"""

"My fortune cookie says ""You will attain the highest levels of intelligence."" Does anyone know where I can find fedoras for cheap?"

"I never really liked gravity... ... It's always bringing me down."

"A Jew, a Hindu and a Muslim go into a bar, and the barman says..... What a wonderful diversity of cultures we have in this community."

"Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books."

"How many guys in the Friendzone does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just stand around complimenting it, and then get pissed when another guy screws it."