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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a snowman on the toilet and O'Shea Jackson on the toilet? One is shitting ice cubes and the other is Ice Cube shitting."

"Being stuck in the"" friend zone"" is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired."

"Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:"

"What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at starbucks? Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte"

"My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian It's like I've never seen herbivore."

"Can't figure out why my dog licks his balls. They taste fcuking disgusting."

"I wish I could see the look of surprise and wonder on my son's face when he opens his lunchbox full of tampons today. Payback for talkback."

"Boss: ""You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!"" Me: ""You're not suppose to cheat on your wife."" Boss: ""Keep up the good work sir."""

"Have you heard about all the decapitations happening in the Middle East right now? I certainty won't beheading their anytime soon! -wink-"

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? You can eat a bowling ball."