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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:"

"It's like my Uncle said, no body, no crime Coworker: I only asked how your weekend was..."

"Some people came to my door asking for donations to the local pool. So I went and poured them a glass of water."

"If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does..."

"I'll never get picked for jury duty because I'd be the one on trial....."

"Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay."

"..... Ya see we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?"

"Have you heard of the Y-values? I heard they're all the range."

"Have you seen Kindergaten cop? It was such a good movie, they could easily make one or tumor."

"If ""Pretty Woman"" teaches us anything it's that prostitution is a lucrative, whimsical enterprise that every young woman should try."