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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could see the look of surprise and wonder on my son's face when he opens his lunchbox full of tampons today. Payback for talkback."

"How do I submit a joke? Do I hand my life in?"

"Man walks into a zoo. There was only one animal. It was a dog. It's a shitzu."

"I hate my new Haircut!! ... But it'll grow on me =D Do you get it?"

"Fruit By The Foot, but no Meat By The Meter? I call bullshit."

"I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back"

"The more I learn about Myself the more atheist I become."

"Got into an argument with a cripple and won. He didn't have a leg to stand on."

"I am not well... ... neither am I a river!"

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... I dunno, I thought she was older than that. I guess that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."