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Joke of the Day

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. ""It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope"" said Jose, age 6."

"What do you call a nursing home with a buffet? A Golden Corral."

"I Told my wife I lost 10 pounds in a hour The She said ""Sweety, we call them Dollars here"""

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

"How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender."

"Knock knock... Who's there?... Tank... Tank who?... You're welcome"

"I started a company... I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"Why are sergeants so successful in physical contests? Three stripes, you rout."

"NSFW Men are like a deck of cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking face in and a spade to bury the bastard!"