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Joke of the Day

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

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"I saw Casper the ghost. I said, You look pale and drawn."
"There is no panic like the panic you feel when you think you may have clogged the toilet at someone else's house."
"What do you call a female dog with a pH over 7? A basic bitch."
"I almost killed my whole family last night, but eventually chose not to let my wife drive."
"I call my penis... ""the cartridge"" because women love to blow it"
"Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder"
"Why does Bob Ross not use a condom? Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents."
"Golfer: ""Caddy do you think my game is improving?"" Caddy: ""Oh yes sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."""
"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pump kin"