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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Men are like a deck of cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking face in and a spade to bury the bastard!"

"Ran into the apple store and used their bathroom .... iPeed"

"I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back."

"extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain"

"It's really too bad that Magic Johnson played in an era in which the hilarity of his nickname was so underappreciated."

"Did You Hear About My Friend? His whole left side was cut off... He's alright now."

"What do you call a Bull that masturbates? Beef Stroganoff"

"If Donald Trump thinks America doesn't win anymore, he can tell that to Marvin Walters who won $100,000 playing Fun 5's in the Ohio Lottery!"

"My ""snooze"" button should just be called the ""nope, no yoga today"" button."

"What did Goku want to be when he was growing up? a SAIYANtist!"